Dona nobis pacem

I made this mix for an old friend. I don't talk to her as often as I should, or as often as I would like, but she's one of those people that's never far from my thoughts. I think the term "best friends" is bandied around a bit too often, but occasionally there's some real truth to it. Every now and then you find a connection with someone that never goes away, no matter what happens. I have never found it easy to talk to most people. When I find someone that I can talk to, with complete ease, no matter the time or distance between conversations, then I know I've found someone to hold onto.

The important thing to remember is that life is not fair. I was told that as a child. Life is not fair; this is a true thing. And yet, while I was taught this obvious truth, I was somehow also left with the general impression that while life is most certainly not fair, it ought to be. Justice, karma, even right and wrong-- these are all things we made up in our own little heads. The world we live in is unaware of them, and completely unaffected by their tenets.

If I ever doubted that life was unfair, and always would be, I need look no farther than the suffering that some of my dearest friends have endured. No, I know life isn't fair. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be. Just because things have always been one way, doesn't mean they shouldn't be something completely different.

I am not so foolish to believe that I can make the whole world just and orderly and fair. But it would be nice sometimes if I could set things right for just one person, who didn't deserve the awful hand that she was dealt.

Them's the breaks, kiddo. Chin up. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that every problem has a solution, if you keep fighting.

If that sounds crass and stupid, forgive me. Deep down I always try to side with hope.

1. Wounded - Third Eye Blind
2. Your Heart Is an Empty Room - Death Cab for Cutie
3. The Damage in Your Heart - Weezer
4. There's Always Someone Cooler Than You - Ben Folds
5. There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
6. A Sisters Social Agony - Camera Obscura
7. Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones
8. Things Have Changed - Bob Dylan
9. Windowsill - The Arcade Fire
10. Blistered Heart - Badly Drawn Boy
11. Agnus Dei - Rufus Wainwright
12. In Your Veins - The Soundtrack of Our Lives
13. Ghost World - Aimee Mann
14. It's a Motherfucker - Eels
15. Trouble - Elliott Smith
16. Someday - The Strokes
17. Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips
18. Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Belle & Sebastian
19. Wicked Little Town - Hedwig & The Angry Inch
20. Happiness - Elliott Smith

Like all my mixes, I take the title from the lyrics of one of the songs. This was one of those times that I was torn between several excellent passages, each of which would have served quite well. I wound up going with "Dona nobis pacem" from Rufus Wainwright's "Agnus Dei", which in English roughly translates to "Give us peace". And while I have no doubt that was the best choice, part of me is still leans towards "All I Want Now", from the hauntingly beautiful chorus of "Happiness", by the great Elliott Smith:

What I used to be to be will pass away and then you'll see,
That all I want now is happiness for you and me
For you and me